Why I Pay My Kids for Their Labour
Three girls, one little boy, and the chore list...
There’s the great debate on paying for chores. Some say its a life responsibility, some say its expected, part of being the family, allowances need to be earned, allowances don’t need to be earned, pay them for extras, get them to do work like babysitting and lawn care for other people, etc, etc, etc.
Mom friends and I talk about the big things: how to teach our kids money management, independence, screen time, raising kids in these times, you know, the things that keep you up at night as a parent. We read the books, we talk about the books, we survey each other to see what their peers are doing.
I’ve never given my kids an allowance for the sake of giving them an allowance. Honestly, most of the time I give them money to do things I need done and it’s kind of a bribe. Mom doesn’t want to do the vacuuming for the fourth time today and there are gross gritty bits under my feet. “Who wants a dollar to vacuum?” I yell to them. Or they want something, like new Pokemon cards, or candy, or whatever kid things they’re into and I don’t want to just buy it. I say no, and sometimes I say yes if they buy it with their own money. That’s when I know they really want it, if they’re willing to spend their own money.
Just getting all the things would make my kids entitled, right? “If you organize the pantry I’ll give you five bucks! But you have to finish it all the way” or “The art room is really messy, it’s a $10 job if you want to split it or do it yourself.”
It works. The things get done, and the kids get what they want. We’ve got a list of “standard rates” for household chores. I keep a running tab of IOUs on my phone. If someone has a better system, please let me know. There must be an app for that.
People for sure will tell me that I don’t need to pay them, we should do things as a family. Yeah sometimes we do. Their rooms and bathrooms are their responsibility to be tidy, unless we’re doing a big overhaul and cleaning and organizing the whole thing and I help them or they help each other.
It’s easier to give someone 25 cents to empty the dishwasher than it is to nag and nag and nag and end up doing it myself when everyone’s in bed. Yeah, ok, it doesn’t create intrinsic motivation. My only intrinsic motivation to do most things is that I can’t stand it any longer. And that standard is only created by keeping a clean home.
I’ve seen situations where the girls do the inside chores and the boys do the outside chores. I’ve dated the guys that don’t think it’s “their job” to tidy the kitchen. Expectations are the same across the board for my kiddos, and its work. Its labour. And I want them to know that their labour is valued, and cash gets that message across. We want men’s and women’s work to be paid the same - well it starts in my house - that my girls will be compensated for their time and effort the same as my boy. Yeah, its everyone’s responsibility but the one who does the thing gets rewarded, because they earned it.
At the end of the day, the pay is relevant to us adults doing our jobs. Who’s doing what they do every day 9-5 just for finishes? We need money to survive and our skills are paid for. Well, domestic work is work and it’s getting paid for. Its kind, its a favour, its helpful, and its worth something.
And it helps me stay sane.
